My Story of Transitioning to Motherhood
Updated: Mar 13
Like many others, my transition to motherhood was a roller coaster. There were many joyous moments as my son and I got to know each other. Yet, the sleep deprivation, receiving advice that didn't feel right to me (and was often conflicting!), and the need to surrender control of my days, was a lot to adjust to. I was exhausted and overwhelmed and often missed the 'old me', feeling as though I had lost my identity and sense of self during this transition.
By the time baby number two came along, I was already utterly exhausted and highly stressed. I still didn’t understand the need to slow down in pregnancy, to nurture this baby growing inside of me and to take care of myself, physically and emotionally. Planning for my postpartum period didn’t even make it onto my to-do list, and asking for help also didn't occur to me.
When my partner went back to work two weeks after my second child was born, the wheels fell off. I didn’t know how to support my son with his understandably big emotions, and I discovered a terrifying rage inside myself. By the time each afternoon rolled around my stress and exhaustion levels were high and juggling the needs of my newborn and toddler seemed near impossible.
I remember sobbing down the phone to PANDA after screaming at my toddler while my baby cried in my arms. I felt like the most inadequate parent in the world and couldn’t understand how other parents managed caring for two children by themselves!
It was just so hard.
Then one day, in my second year of parenting two children, I just snapped.
I knew I needed help, so I reached out to a parenting mentor, and quickly, my life transformed. She held space for me and my feelings and showed me how to do this for my toddlers. She provided me with love and compassion and taught me how to do this for myself. I learnt about child brain development and how to set boundaries with love.
For the first time, I saw my children in a different light—they weren't giving me a hard time; they were HAVING a hard time. With this support, everything changed. I could navigate sibling rivalry when it occurred, and the juggle of two kids wasn't as much of a juggle. I prioritised my own self-care and enjoyed my children and motherhood so much more.
In the three-four years since then, I have built strong, connected and respectful relationships with my children, and I now love supporting other parents to do the same. I recognise the early warning signs of anger or resentment rising within me. I know what my triggers are and have done a lot of work exploring these, looking at how my childhood experiences influence my parenting today. I utilise mindfulness, acceptance, and self-compassion practices daily, which help keep me grounded and from snapping at my kids in anger. When there is a rupture to our relationship, I am able to repair this with love and compassion for both myself and my children.
I also started to build a village of support around me when I moved to Gippsland at the end of 2018. These in-person relationships I have developed have been so important in helping me feel connected to my community. I want this for you too!
I know it takes courage to be real and vulnerable in conversations about your motherhood experience. But when you open up to others in a safe and supportive environment and are honest about your struggles, this can lead to deeper connection and transformation.
I am passionate about creating spaces where Mothers can come to speak openly about motherhood with others, and feel seen, heard and less alone.
If you would like some 1:1 support with parenting challenges, I am here to hold space for you and be your guide. See my website for further details. If you are craving connection with other like-minded Mothers in your local community, keep an eye out for my in-person events in Gippsland coming in 2022. I would love to support you in your parenting and motherhood journey as have experienced first-hand how life-changing receiving this support can be!